Remember when we couldn’t talk about ‘certain’ topics: br**st cancer, homos**uality, relig**n? Well, lately I have been talking about a sickness that has to do with the search for love and meaning. After I saw all the guys wearing the pink breast support T-shirts, everyone now has a rainbow on their bumpers, and my afterlife philosophy is based on love not judgement, I decided to start talking openly about addiction. I don’t clear the room anymore.
I still do get those sad eyes and uncomfortably long periods of silence while others are thinking. Then, the one old stoner guy in the crowd opens up and everyone joins in.
People want to talk about their losses, fears, and questions. Too long our culture languished in polite, super short conversations about addicts, which only meant someone else’s kid (who was a rotten degenerate) and a chart of statistics on poor people. Addicts’ lives were too real and immediate for anyone to really understand the relationships, the relief, and the reality associated with an addiction. Now everyone knows an addict, is an addict, or lost an addict. We are everywhere, and they can no longer hide us in caskets devoted to a singular tragedy.
Finally, Helen is Reddy and roaring, but the tune is “I am addiction hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore, and I know too much to go back and pretend.” They can’t ignore our losses, and they are startint to ask us to be a part of the conversation. At some point addicts and their loved ones need to speak up, but many are still afraid to tell the truth. They can’t always find someone who understands, and many still are hiding the truth due to the reactions. Just like Helen Reddy’s hit single, we want this single to hit the charts and change the reaction to our engendered group. Addicts and their loved ones are under-respected, and the stereotype needs to get rewritten to include who we are, what we are, and why we are.
Sit awhile and talk with Matt Edwards. He died at age 25, but he is still talking. Please join your voice to Matt’s and show the world that addicts are worth loving, understanding, and saving by putting a few dollars toward getting this film to production. We need to change the conversation to include us, the addicts and the ones who love them.
Taboos in conversation:
- So what do you think about how many people are dying from prescription drugs for pain control?
- My son is struggling with an addiction.
- My son got arrested for drugs.
- My son died of a heroin overdose.
- I need to take time off work to enter a drug treatment program.
- I don’t believe they are bad parents just because their son has an addiction.
- Please, stop talking about that guy like he wants to live this horrible existence.
- Is that Vicodin you got? Did you know that is heroin? Did you know your doctor prescribed heroin? So, you are taking heroin for your toe infection?
- I know he is on probation for drug charges, but I want to hire him to help him get a leg up. Without our acceptance, he will turn to crime to survive.
- Judge, this is not a crime. The man was trying to feel normal again. His brain got re-wired ‘somehow.’ Can we spend the money on getting him help and leave off the stigma?
- Pharmaceutical companies. Period.
Huffington Post is starting the conversation by crossing the taboo line. Please help us get addiction out of the casket and into loving arms!
You are loved, at least by me,
Jane, Matt’s mom
(Please add your love by reading the article and sharing it. )
Please place this link on your social media, and please consider supporting this independent film project. We all should have our names on the credits. Imagine all the names we can add! So many of us are unheard. This is your opportunity to make our voices loud. Join the struggle to remove the stigma!
In other words, please show your love to Matt and all addicts like him by simply reposting.
Regular day today, again. The weather was really bad all day; super windy and full of rain. I walked to the food pantry and got me some FOOD!
Work is becoming more stressful because the staff was cut by one guy and we close earlier, so we are doing more work in less time; It’s a challenge.
I felt “well” today, didn’t use a thing. My mind is however still poling at me, telling me that opiates are the best in life. It’s terrible. I have to now bear my own mind.
Intake: Ø day five
I have been bad about keeping up with my journal; I need to refocus and get back to my entries. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately; hasn’t amounted to much in the way of action, but i will soon change that I hope.
The last few days have been okay. I’s getting colder out, but I find myself almost looking forward to the rest of October. I used opiates on Thursday (payday, 40 mg Oc IV) and for that I’m not happy. I had 8 whole days of sober and messed it up! Now I have 3, but it went by so quickly, maybe that means I’m getting better? I’ve been smoking a lot more marijuana lately, and my drinking has increased a bit. I really just need to cut all of this out.
Renee is in Poland, thinks she may just visit Pripyat and Chernobyl. Talk about jealous!!
Intake: Ø day 3, smoked