November 1, Sunday 2009 rated 5

Went to church today with Jason from work.  It was actually quite nice; went out to eat chicken after that, just had a grand old time

Got home from that quite sleepy, took a nap, and then walked over to Pat’s place, smoked some weed with him; just took it easy.

I can feel something inside now, everyday I believe that I get a little more un-comfortable with my situation; everyday I get a little more comfortable with change.  The change I need to make in order to be happy again, it’s coming; it’s coming soon.

Intake: 4(55 mg hydroco, oral, smoked)

  • Today marks the 2 year anniversary of the last time I spoke to Pela.

(For those who do not understand, Pela* is the girl from Poland who Matt loved deeply. Matt remembered dates in an unexplicable way. He remembered the day grandpa did whatever, the day on the calendar that he lost his virginity, the day that someone died, left, or first said hello. He marked the calendar of his life with every moment of important memories. He marked his days. Though this whole debacle may not seem that he valued them, conversely, he valued them highly and each individual who marked his life was marked for ever on the day of the arrival/departure in his mind forever, not written but remembered.

I should be more like that. I forgot my own birthday several times. But, Matt never did. I still have the chop sticks and Last Supper Plate he bought for me to mark those days. I guess we should all learn to mark our days.)

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