Today ends a crazy week. I was using opiates all week, but I managed to only spend about $70 all told out of this last pay-check. I paid off a chunk of my loan at cash-in-a-flash, and just generally spent my money on bills this week. I’m quite happy and proud of myself–I exercised some real control over this damn habit, plan now to keep going in this direction taking little steps that lead to bigger things. First with my money I gotta get that damn pay-day loan paid off. Then I’m getting my license assessment and getting my damn licence back. After that I’m buying myself off probation, and then getting a car. After I’ve achieved all that I’ll be moving with Renee to Madison and hopefully get the balls to finish my education. Almost forgot my trip to Ukraine, that’s in the works still. I’ve let so much time slip away, it’s unbelievable to me.
I have been doing an awesome job at the restaurant lately, and I am now the top guy in the kitchen, and I’m going even higher than that. I’ve found a new energy since breaking my addiction and depression at the end of August. I’m still using but every week I bring it a little more under control. The anti-depressants really help the whole situation–need to stay up on those for sure.
I don’t know what’s up with April; I hope everyday that I don’t suffer some type of retaliation from her, but if she finds out about me answering questions I’ll be getting some retaliation I’m sure. I hope the best for her, and myself; I need to get completely clear too.
Intake: 30 mg morphine EV, 50 mg hydroco oral, 7th
straight day of using*BAD!!!