Had the day off today. finally got ahold of Cindy and Lenny, went over there and mowed the lawn, helped Cindy clean the whole house. We all had a nice time. They are finally having a prospective buyer look at the house tomorrow. I would like to say that I hope they sell it, but I would be sad to see them go.
I finally accompanied them to their church tonight. They had a “faith healer” visiting from Atlanta. I believe in miracle healing, but his guy seemed to be more of an actor/salesman type, really put on quite a show, full of bravado, full of act and fire. He really rubbed me wrong. It seemed like a scam to my eyes and ears. I think I may go back to church with them, but we’ll see.
Been good about drugs, laying down some real sober time Contemplating bigger things now. Hope to reach the goal.
(I have been trying not to interject, but I can’t help but comment on this journal. You see, Matt and I spoke quite a bit about this incident. As I was trying to explain my faith, I was very disconcerted by this first visit, after years of not attending, to church. I will say plainly: Satan planned this!
If you have ever read Canterbury Tales you will well understand the Pardoner’s Tale. Being ‘churched’ myself I am quite accustomed to regular and seemingly welcome visits from Satan in the pulpit, pardoners of sin for silver. I have suffered through so many of these medicine shows, which are designed to wrench dollars out of widows and dying cancer victims that I could enact a whole show myself. It was like, “Lead me to those who are dying. I will heal them if they pay me.”
I always thought, “If I could heal anyone, I would visit every hospital and touch everyone I could, no charge.” Therefore, I am convinced that the Benny Hinns of the world will fry in the hottest spot of hell.
After hearing of this church visit from Matt … I was so disconcerted that Matt ran into this sort of worship/antiworship/worship of avarice and ignorance. This man needed to hear the word of God, and this church was whored out to someone with a fake southern accent, with a bad imitation of Martin Luther King, Jr., without the concern for someone like my kid–penniless– and with a pimp, white-silk outfit–I could have aspirated on my own bile.
We spoke in length about this encounter. I tried in vain to counter the whole experience. But, the fact was plain–Christianity delivered in our tradition, the Hillbilly tradition, was being prostituted out to those whose avarice and experience was conventional.
I remember so clearly when I went down to Lansing, MI to aid in a conventional, church building project. This very conservative church did not allow me to sleep in the same house as the man I rode down with; we were not married. I went to help pour concrete and knew what to do. However, in the morning I was escorted through the kitchen to prepare snacks for the men. Then, to my horror, I was escorted to the skirt room. Kindly, I was told that this church believed that women didn’t dress like men, and as I was wearing pants–I needed to pick out a skirt. The room was like the biggest walk-in closet I have ever seen. However, I smiled, declined, and asked if they would still like my charity work. The woman was a bit struck from my candor. “So what?”, I thought. Her mouth fell open only for a second and then the perma-smile came back. Then, she led me out and decided to serve donuts herself. I worked the day pulling and mixing mud.
An interesting addendum to this experience was the reason for pouring this massive slab. The church was building on a section in order to produce more Bibles. Seemed that the whole Bible production business was quite lucrative. The owner of the business was very warm– a really affective in person. So, we spoke at length. He explained that he only sold King James versions as he made a better profit. He complained about his wife, who was around #550 and couldn’t even walk anymore, he remarked about his sons’ new expensive vehicles, and to top it off he asked me if he could visit me, wink wink.
I am not sure of what to make of all this: Matt’s need to connect with God, his experience in seeking, my experiences in avarice, and the true existence of God. I do know this: God is real. Many but not all of big religion have fallen to Satan. I know the difference. I don’t believe very many people can see this difference. I believe many people see the presence of Satan where they expected to see Jesus. My son needed to see Jesus but was given Satan by those who believe they know God. I wonder how things would have gone for Matt if there wasn’t a fake healer in church that day. I wonder. I also wonder what will be their recompense…. I bet this won’t be easy to watch. But, I do know I will still watch and not even blink.
God, please save me, my son, my daughters, all those dealing with addiction, and all others who are tricked by Satan! I pray for us all.
Matt’s mom, Jane)