October 4, Sunday 2009, rated 5 (Slipped on Thurs., feeling I’m getting better but smoking and drinking more)

I have been bad about keeping up with my journal; I need to refocus and get back to my entries.  I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately; hasn’t amounted to much in the way of action, but i will soon change that I hope.

The last few days have been okay.  I’s getting colder out, but I find myself almost looking forward to the rest of October.  I used opiates on Thursday (payday, 40 mg Oc IV) and for that I’m not happy.  I had 8 whole days of sober and messed it up!  Now I have 3, but it went by so quickly, maybe that means I’m getting better?  I’ve been smoking a lot more marijuana lately, and my drinking has increased a bit.  I really just need to cut all of this out.

Renee is in Poland, thinks she may just visit Pripyat and Chernobyl.  Talk about jealous!!

Intake:  Ø day 3, smoked

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