Today I had no drugs whatsoever!! I’m actually quite proud of myself for making it 5 whole days now–amil finally kicked in, and my depression has all but vanished. I’m doing well.
Tonight was terrible at work. I just couldn’t seem to please Elta with anything I did; she gave me the evil eye several times. Really sucked. I felt like I was going to get fired all night!! I sure hope I can continue getting good hours after tonight.
The only bad part of the day was work. Everything else went fine. I’m feeling much better now. I know I’ll be getting high on Thursday and for a few days after that, but I have made a commitment not to purchase drugs, unless prescribed to me. That should solve a lot of my problems I think.
Intake: ø, detox day 4, smoked
(God doesn’t afford us the burden of knowing the exact number of days we have here. I wonder if Matt had known this how he would have proceeded. Would this have been the impetus to completely lose himself in hedonistic behavior, or would he have started a bucket list ? To those out there, what would you do differently if you knew your day’s number, or if you knew the number of a loved one’s days? What would you do?
Would you go on a diet, like Matt did here, not really willing to shed the cocoon, become a butterfly, and eat the nectar of flowers instead of slugging along on buds and leaves? I am convinced that those who really honestly want to change cannot go on diets. Diets restrict the bad while never actually removing the need to be fed somewhat regularly. So, if you have a dream, a bucket list, a butterfly inside your cocoon, what are you doing today that you will regret if your tomorrows are cut short? If the tomorrows of your loved one are cut short?