July 29, Wednesday, 2009 rating 6.5/10

Woke up dope sick again today, without much prospect for anything happening. though I had to wait until tomorrow for my vikes, but then I devised a plan.  It took quite a bit, a hell of a lot of walking, but it was a wonderful, sunny day outside, and I got to see a lot of the cool, old warplanes overhead on my walk.  Morton’s filled my vikes, cost me $30, which I had to advance from Cash in a Flash, but it was well worth it.  I got to work just in time, but performed poorly, I don’t really know why, but my stomach side hurt, which may be my liver telling me I’ve taken a bit too much vicodin/tylenol at once.  Saw April (girl drug friend) at work for a bit, tells me she’s sick, but I can clearly see that she isn’t because she calls if she is sick, and she hasn’t called.  I guess that means I’ll be keeping all these vikes to myself this time!!  She doesn’t help me get shit anyways, a  little weed once in a while, but beyond that nothing.  If I can’t rely on her to score, she is worthless to me as a partner, so she can fend for herself.  I have Joey (his dealer), which is all I really need.  I feel alright now, not really too high, but just dandy anyways.  I have tomorrow off, I’m going to try to score some smoke.  Hope I can.

I heard that Ronnie (guy that worked with Matt) called trying to get his job back today! What an idiot.  Glad they won’t listen to him, asshole.

Man, I’m coming off as a kind of an ass in this journal entry.  But, John (roommate) has been pissing me off a lot.  I’m seriously considering moving.  This house sucks anyways, with the train, and his animals, and HIM!! Shit just gets on my nerves you know?  I keep it all inside, never stand-up for myself.  I’ve never had to before!! People have just never been so f***ing mean-spirited, not back home they weren’t.  I hope I can avoid changing into one of them anyways.

Talked to Jessie (Matt’s first love from HS) on Facebook.  Looks like the 12th of August we’ll be hanging out.  I’m looking forward to it!!

Intake: 80 mg hydroco, oral

(Have you ever lived with someone who just didn’t want you there, felt that a bad day on their part meant open irritation to you, or just knit-picked at everything you did? Well, Matt couldn’t leave a single spoon in the sink, couldn’t be downstairs when this roommate was home [unless he wanted a smarmy comment], was not allowed to keep his food in the kitchen, and was never asked to play cards, meet this guy,s friends, or do anything social.  When I met him he simply said “hi” and then walked to another room. Matt also said he sort of had little, temper tantrums and stormed around the place weekly. I really felt sorry for Matt as this was his only refuge from the daily drama he was staring in. As I said in an earlier post, when Matt moved to Madison not only did his two roommates become his two close friends, but even the neighbors became friends with him. He only lived there 3 weeks and something like 8 or 10 people came up for his funeral. This roommate never even sent a card.)

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