September Wind

A feeling passed before me

quickly, flitting away from attempt

to grasp, to understand

it was akin to remorse

deep, utterly pungent

I cannot possess this feeling

akin to remorse is not remorse

because I enjoyed those days

you and I, striding together

through the landscape of youth

privy to the warmth of the sun

I still return to find our places of peace

Find them I do, under heaven and stars

You, my love, your presence lingers

as I can still see you

dancing in the tall grass

fading gently, your ghost into the forest runs

weary  am I  as I kneel in the sand

no longer those days do we inhabit

I am left with this passing feeling

and the landscape

under the influence of September wind.

(I see a consistent premonition in Matt’s writing toward September. How he hated the onset of fall as it led to winter. As Matt became reclusive and depressed during the cold months, he and I spoke often of this change in seasons. He always wanted to live in the summer of life. He died the first day of September, 2010. Was this planned or was this premonated by the unseen forces? He had very prophetic dreams–relatives that shook their heads and offered little comfort, caskets that he carried and were never opened; burdens that were haunting his periods of seeming rest were often haunted by these the metaphysical. This September wind still whispers and chills within those of us remaining.  Matt’s mom.)

2 thoughts on “September Wind

  1. Wow. This brought tears to my eyes because of the promise of what could have been greatness in writing. Again, I know it will always come up short but: I am so sorry for this loss of such a naturally, raw, untamed, talented young voice.

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