So, I put together 10 “nevers”, words of advice for everyone.
10. Never call 911, ever, for any reason. You may need a fire-fighter or a paramedic, but if you call 911 chances are that cops will show up, and cops like dealing charges.
9. Never talk about doing something unless you absolutely plan to do it.
8. Never physically hurt a lady.
7. Never discuss sex with anyone involved in BDSM, you may be having coffee one minute and getting a golden shower the next.
6. Never build a house within ear shot of the train tracks.
5. Never antagonize an Iguana, ever.
4. Never burn time waiting for a flight in the airport bar.
3. Never drive yourself to a bar; those places are like those electric fly killers; the cops hang out by them and then ZAP! You’re dead.
2. Never use drugs.
1. If you happen to be using drugs, Never pay a dollar a milligram for ANYTHING. Kill the pusher and bury them for even suggesting such a thing.
There you go, now make up your own!
(Many of these remind me of things Matt experienced. For instance, he called me one day and was just freaked out because he was walking on the sidewalk, having just left a friend’s house, and was attacked by a rottweiler. This lady was loading the dog into her car from the house and didn’t see Matt walking, so she didn’t have a good hold on the dog, and it charged Matt and bit him several times in the rear and back of his leg. This happened in a nice neighborhood and directly across the street from a school. I was so upset thinking about how he could get an infection and someone else could also get attached. So, I talked him into going to the hospital and getting stitches. I was just adamant.
At the hospital they had to do a police report. Long story short, Matt had outstanding fines he didn’t pay and didn’t know about, and the police put him in jail. He got bit by a vicious dog, and he went to jail. I bet the 911 comment had something to do with this. This happened in Oshkosh just after he landed his first job there. As he was under probation, he was supposed to be notified of fines. However, his PO did not notify him. Oh, was he ever ticked!
If you would like to add to his list, feel free. Matt’s mom)