Hello, I’m Matt’s mom. Matt died at age 25 of a heroin/etc. overdose. I know what you’re thinking–you’re thinking, “He must have been one of those seedy types I see sleeping on park benches by day and leaning against brick walls under neon, beer signs by night.” Not Matt. He didn’t stick out in the crowd like that. There is a growing trend in opioid use that is changing the stereotypical heroin user. Matt was one of those statistics changing the faces associated with heroin deaths. We came from rural America; I am a teacher of 19 years, and he liked to bow hunt, study music, ride his dirt bike, travel overseas, play cards, discuss politics, read (The Daily Onion, Blake, social commentaries, Facebook…), play the guitar, and write. He loved to write and write he did. He wrote little vignettes, lists of does and don’ts, random rants, poems, and daily journal entries. So, I suspect you will find these writings quite sublime. I found them after he died yet found them full of hope. They tell of the struggles, common yet often unheard, of a hometown junkie. As I type them up I will add them here.
This is a work, in part, to allow me to express the love I have for Matt, yet to express the depth that people of all types have even when dominated by outside forces. I would like others to experience not only how expressive my son was (I struggle with the past tense, as I believe he still IS) but how in tune to reality he was. I found his conversations so refreshing and engaging; however, I find his writings additionally timeless and enlightening. Oh, how I hope for one more conversation with him. Whoever is reading this, have you ever wanted for one last chance to say something? I believe Matt wants to say one more thing. This is here for you, in hopes that this one more thing will rise like smoke to the nostrils of God and live on though his body here does not. I invite any comments at all on his writings. In whatever area of growth you are, I hope they enlighten, entertain, educate, and embolden you further. Additionally, I would like this website to serve as one more way of saying, “Matt, I love you still and always.” Through my tears I will type out these writings and hope that someone finds something of value.
If I may suggest, read Matt’s Story Told by Him under Matt’s Writings in the menu. Matt’s Journals show the last year of his life day by day, and I placed the first four months on this site for you. If you want to read all his journals, they are published under the name What I Couldn’t Tell You by Matthew Edwards and Jane Funk. If you want others to understand the real people and lives damaged by addiction, his documentary film, Written Off–the short, sad, beautiful life of Matt Edwards, is available for large group licensing through The Biscuit Factory.
Matt’s mom, Jane